Relationship Obits

I just bought this awesome book.. Aksara lagi clearance sale book, langsung meluncur kesana dan dapet buku keren ini.

Buku ini menceritakan bagaimana kontributor melewati break upnya dengan cara menuliskan obits. Penulis, Kathleen Horan, menyatakan bahwa proses break-up mirip dengan 5 stages of griev-nya Kubler-Ross (yg terkenal itu lohh, yang dipelajarin di psikologi itu lohhh, yang jadi landasan teorinya rebeka pinaima itu lohhh.. -enuf,Val)

Gw kutip satu cerita yg JLEB banget ya.

Cause of Death: Cowardice

Brett and Camille

Born: March 6, 2007

Death : July 31, 2008

Camille (african-american girl) pacaran sama Brett. Bokapnya Brett gak setuju pacaran interracial dan akhirnya mereka pacaran backstreet gitu.

"Brett talked on the phone with his parents on one of their dates. Brett's father asked him what he was doing that evening, and he replied "nothing". The word pierced through Camille's heart and formed a tiny hole. For the first time in her life, she FELT nothing, like something that shouldn't be seen or heard or acknowledged."

Camille mencoba untuk mengerti keadaan Brett dan bokapnya yg narrow-minded tapi akhirnya dia berhasil keluar dari relasi itu. LIKE A BOSS.

Hmm, got me thinking. Should I make one too? Dengan menuliskan obit ini, mgkin gw bisa menjadi pribadi yang lebih sehat dan basically, pengen venting aja sih #meh

Cause of Death :

Cowardice, Denial and Mutual Exhaustion

Val and Koala

Birth : March 13, 2007

Death: September 30, 2011

Awal perkenalan kami amat sangat random. I knew her from a friend of my girlfriend at that moment. It was awkward, I was a newbie in this lesbo kingdom and so was she. I got to know her, broke up with my girlfriend to be with her, asked her to be my gf 4 times before she said yes, a month later we broke up because of God. Oh yeah, did I mention about her Catholic guilt? She is and she felt wrong about our relationship until I broke up with her for the last time (when relationship is already dead)

She said she's not a lesbian, I respect that. I didnt force her to become one (why would I do that?) Oh maybe so she can accepted me as a lesbian. Me, her girlfriend (?) The IRONY. Anw, it was an on and off relationship. Broke up because of God and her guilt was a regular excuse. Oh iya, gw blom mention Cicinya ya? She read our journal.. Isinya ya cuma emotional stuff like our feelings tapi dari situ gw udah mencium homophobia yg kuat. #merinding

Seringkali gw berasa kayak pacaran sama Cicinya karena gw musti ngikutin jadwal Cicinya. Gw sadar bahwa menjalin relasi dengan pacar berarti juga berelasi dengan keluarganya. Im okay with her mom but not with her sister. Gw pun udah usaha untuk ngedeketin tp ketakutan Koala membuat gw jaga jarak sama si Cici. I did love Koala so Im voluntarily okay not being acknowledged. Tapi keinginan gw untuk bisa mengekspresikan rasa sayang gw terlalu besar sehingga kami mulai ribut karena hal-hal sepele yang sebenernya cuma perkara prinsip (anjrit, itu gede yeh). She couldnt accept me being a lesbian (?) sama aja gak sih kayak diskriminasi berdasarkan ras? Dan itu dari orang yang pacaran sama perempuan. Aneh tapi nyata. She couldnt stand up for herself in front of her sister and she didnt defend me. She said she was selfish, but i was blinded. I loved her too much, I was okay being treated like second option. She didnt know what to do with our future. Her fave words is "jalanin aja".

But i stood up for myself and my dignity. I broke up with her that night during meeting via BBM and met her a few days after that to end this so-called-relationship. It was nice and fun until I lost the real me. I ignored my needs, my potential and my conscience. I am happier now.

There are no survivors. Her sister can have her now.

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Hmm.. it wasnt that hard.. Probably I vented too much on this blog.

I moved on, so did she. Its a process and I'm glad we moved on, knowing that this relationship wouldnt work.. It takes two to tango, dear.

Saat ini, walaupun pacar gw juga blm come out ke ortunya. Minimal gw udah sering kesana dan dia slalu bilang kalau dia jalan ma gw. Gw udah kenal sama adiknya yang namanya OKE benggedddd dan hobby ngedownload film (more modern family, mbulee?) He is cool about her sister and me. Amat sangat menyenangkan deh berada di tengah-tengah keluarganya. Gw nyaman dan merasa tidak perlu meragukan eksistensi gw lg. #Smiling

Happiness is your own business. I was stupid thinking that if she was happy, I would be happy too. It doesnt work that way, sister..

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