Saturday, July 27, 2013

The List of 41 Things that Make People Happy

The list of 41 things that make people happy:

1. Going on holiday 
2. Getting into bed with freshly washed sheets 
3. Waking up on a sunny day 
4. Sneezing three or more times in a row
5. To know that there are still left a lot of pages to read from a book you love.
6. That text message you waited so much
7. To wake up from a nightmare and realize it was just a dream.
8. To eat the creamy part of a cake.
9. The day when you first realize you can drive
10. When cashiers open up new check-out lanes at the grocery store
11. Collapsing into bed when you’re completely, massively exhausted
12. The last day of school/ work
13. Crossing off the last item on your list
14. The thank you wave when you let somebody merge in front of you
15. Finally remembering where you recognize someone from after staring at them forever
16. When you officially become boyfriend girlfriend
17. Fixing electronics by smacking them
18. Seeing old people really get down on the dance floor
19. When someone guesses you’re way younger than you actually are
20. Inside jokes
21. Weird food combinations that only you love
22. Correctly spelling that old password you haven't used in a long time
23. Lying in a beam of sunlight coming through the window
24. Crazy bets
25. When the plane touches down on the runway
26. Inspiring graduation speeches
27. When you ask the people in front of you if they’re in line and they’re not
28. 3:00am conversations with your best friend
29. Kids helping their little brother or sister across the street
30. When a deadline is extended unexpectedly
31. The loudest guy at the game
32. Finding out what song is in that commercial
33. The sound of a train coming into the station
34. Laughing at a stranger with another stranger
35. Being the first of your friends to discover the latest Internet joke
36. When the Christmas tree gives the only light in the room
37. Pulling a weed and getting all the roots with it
38. Staying up so late that everything becomes funny
39. Finishing your last exam
40. Laughing so hard you start crying
41. The smell of Play-Doh


What makes you happy? :)

Friday, July 26, 2013

Moving On



It's called break up because it's broken.

Break up always has its ups and downs, however you move on with your life, get a new partner, and so on. And what if you don't move on?


Oke, 1 kasus dari teman baik gw, Grandiosa dan mantannya Leviosa (terinspirasi dari mainan baru, terminologi psikologi dan Harry Potter yang dikawinkan secara tidak senonoh). Grandiosa sudah putus dari Leviosa setahun lebih. Leviosa sudah punya pasangan baru, sedangkan Grandiosa berjanji pada dirinya sendiri untuk menjomblo selama 2 tahun (to pull things together, be a better person, and just chilling plus mingling while being single. awesome? absolutely).

Grandiosa dan Leviosa tetap berteman setelah mereka putus atas nama menjalin silahturami. I'm sure they aware of what they're doing. The way I see it, mereka membuat comfort zone (terlepas dari Leviosa sudah punya pasangan) untuk mereka berdua dimana mereka tetap menyayangi satu sama lain dengan caranya masing-masing. The attention and affection is similar like when they're together (the sweet nicknames and the behaviors towards each other is limited but they still shared the same passion about each other).

Masalah datang ketika Grandiosa menemukan orang lain yang bisa membuatnya nyaman hingga jatuh cinta. Kalau boleh gw gambarkan, Leviosa merasa ditinggalkan sendiri dari zona nyamannya karena Grandiosa telah membuat zona nyaman baru bersama orang baru ini.

Leviosa berusaha untuk menarik perhatian Grandiosa dan terkesan menuntut diperlakukan seperti dulu saat mereka masih dekat sehingga membuat Grandiosa tidak nyaman. Seakan tidak rela perannya direbut sama si orang baru, Leviosa menuduh Grandiosa sudah tidak sayang, tidak perhatian dan tidak-tidak lainnya. The bottom line is Leviosa is craving for Grandiosa's attention and affection. She cannot access it any longer because Grandiosa has already met someone new to comfort her.

Jadi saat ini Grandiosa dilemma dan bingung menghadapi Leviosa yang terus-terusan menganalisa perilakunya Grandiosa. Jawaban dari Grandiosa adalah "kita berteman" ketika Leviosa bertanya Grandiosa sayang sama dia atau tidak. It's not really the answer for me. The answer is yes or no then you get the chance to explain it.

Dari sudut pandang gw sebagai observer, it's obvious that Grandiosa has already moved on from Leviosa. Tapi dia ga kasih tau ke Leviosa sehingga Leviosa jadi bingung. Dari pernyataan "kita berteman" saja udah ambigu karena perilakunya masih seperti pasangan (walaupun tidak berstatus pacaran). Leviosa pun tidak mau disamakan dengan teman-teman Grandiosa. Wait, did I miss something here? Oh yeah, it's clear that Grandiosa used to abuse the term "FRIEND" (dengan perlakukannya yang lebih dari sekedar teman ke Leviosa) dan tidak ada kejelasan diantara hubungan mereka. So when Grandiosa mentioned that they're friends but the ACTIONS didnt meet Leviosa's expectation, Leviosa got confused and disoriented. "Jadi kamu nganggep aku sebagai apa?" mungkin itu salah satu yang dipikirkan Leviosa. Dan Grandiosa terlalu jenuh menghadapi sikap Leviosa yang terlalu menuntut.

I say Grandiosa is a coward. If only Grandiosa can tell Leviosa "I've moved on from you. I still wanna be friends with you but I cannot give you what you want any longer, what I've been giving you since we broke up. I want to pursue my own happiness and apparently you are not making me happy at the moment," maybe Leviosa will understand the fact that her rebound guy is no longer available so stop expecting anything from Grandiosa.

To be perfectly honest, this is a simple case. It doesn't take a psychologist to figure this out. Gimana mau move on kalau masih nyaman diperlakukan layaknya pacar? Fiuh, gw bersyukur bisa mencegah drama-drama gak penting tapi esensial dan bikin galau kayak begini. Setelah putus dari mantan gw yg 4,5 tahun (jatuh bangun moment, dangdut banget deh love life gw saat itu), gw langsung minta puasa 6 bulan di muka. Memang kesannya tega dan jahat dan "sampe segitunya ye lo mau ngapus gw dari hidup lo?" tapi gw tau tabiat dia yang gemar intervensi hubungan gw ketika gw sudah sama orang lain. Gw tau gw lemah dan mungkin bisa kebawa arus "mari kita balikan lagi, neng" atau bahkan lebih parah "mari kita belaga pacaran tapi gak perlu pake status, yang penting kita berdua bahagia (padahal euphoria)" makanya gw buru-buru minta maaf dan mengajukan proposal puasa 6 bulan ga berhubungan (telpon, sms, bbm, fb, email, sebutin aja semuanya). Setelah 6 bulan, kami ketemu lagi dan gw ngeliat bahwa dia bisa dijadiin temen (tentunya gak pake aku-kamu, sebutan sayang, pegang2 modus, bbman tiap hari secara intense dan segala jenis HEART FUCK lainnya). Another achievement is I finally can meet her and introduce my current girlfriend to my ex. Surprisingly, they can get along together altho it was a bit awkward for the first 15 minutes. But the meeting goes well and it is indeed a friendly lunch.

Enough bragging, balik lagi ke kasus diatas, gw berharap Grandiosa punya keberanian untuk berterus terang dan Leviosa bisa menerimanya dengan baik. Biar proses move on-nya bisa berjalan lancar. Tapi kalau mereka tetap memutuskan (setelah negosiasi) untuk tidak move on dari relasi mereka yang telah berakhir belasan bulan yang lalu dan melanjutkan pertemanan plus plus ini, semoga tidak menimbulkan konflik baru dalam comfort zone mereka dan menyeret pasangan Leviosa ke dalam konflik yang sebenernya "ga ada masalah tapi diada-adain".



Have a great Saturday night. And you are awesome. You truly are.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The real EX ZONED

11 Sept 2012
I'm wondering why I didnt publish it. 
#bingungsendiri
Tapi setelah baca kontennya, gw baru sadar kenapa. Confidential issues. 
Happy reading 




You fall out of love, break up with ur partner, and move on with your life.
As simple as that (ngucap gampang), ngelakuinnya susah ye. Dua teman baik gw saat ini lg ketar ketir gitu. Udah putus, tp masih dalam tahap penggantungan. Yang satu sepertinya sudah kehilangan perasaan, yang satunya masih berjuang untuk bisa balikan. I guess its not their 1st time so there’s (always) a chance of getting back. They were a sweet couple, were my role models. Investasi mereka udah banyak dalam relasi tersebut (baik material maupun perasaan) but it just wouldn’t work out if one of them didn’t want to be in a relationship with each other.

I don’t have the heart to tell her this way therefore I’m blogging now. I’m listening to Adele at the moment (sayat2 pake pisau sevel) =D Hmm, jujur aja gw rada serba salah karena gw lebih relate (based on experience) sama pacarnya ketimbang sama temen gw. Ketika gw dicurhatin sama temen gw, gw berasa kayak dicurhatin sama mantan gw. Kejadiannya 11-12 tp gw mutusin dulu sebelum dating sama pacar gw yg skrg. Oh iya, keduanya itu teman baik gw (see, when it comes to break-up, mau ga mau pasti ada taking side moment walaupun Cuma temporary. But really, I do love them just like my sisters and I’m trying being completely neutral although there’s no such thing in Psychology).

Gw nulis ini krn gregetan aja, yang satu masih usaha, yg satu ga mau menjelaskan perasaannya (tau sih bingung bgt, diantara 2 pilihan, Cuma kalau memang mau putus, diseriusin, instead of mengadakan pergantungan). Semuanya wajar dan memang begitulah keadaan orang putus. Cuma kalau memang ada yg baru dan pengen diseriusin (terlepas dari org itu suka balik/ngga), yaudah jgn gantungin mantannya. Gw ngeliatnya sih kayak yg satu ada 2 pilihan dan unfortunately si mantan lg jadi ban serep. Itu gak enak bgt lho. Secara sadar ga sadar ya, semakin lama pergantungan ini, semakin bingung si pacar, semakin nelongso si mantan.

Hal ini dilakukan mungkin krn takut kehilangan “rasa nyaman” atau takut gak dapet pacar pasca putus dari kedua pihak. Tapi bukankah itu konsekuensi dari putus hubungan?

Kalau gw merefleksikan soal konsekuensi ini, gw pun juga ga munafik lah, Gw kangen sama mantan gw karena memang kami pernah menghabiskan sekian tahun bareng. Apalagi kami masih dalam masa “6 bulan ga ngobrol”. I think it works. Jadi kami benar2 fokus pada hidup kami. Kami tau, masukin relasi yg gak jelas juntrungannya malah menghambat kami untuk berkembang. Dan memang saat itu, gw mgkin lbh aware sama ketidaksehatan relasi kami dan nekat untuk kehilangan rasa nyaman dari dia. And she agreed to it (this is what makes she is cool). Menarik sih memang. Relasi bertahun-tahun dikubur so we can function well.

Gw ga kebayang kalau ga ada 6 month agreement. Kemungkinan kami untuk saling mengabuse secara voluntary bisa timbul dan mgkin malah menghambat kinerja kami. Now we don’t want that to happen, right? (although prosesnya memang menyakitkan dan gak mudah) I guess its worth it.
Btw, if I got a chance to talk to her, I just wanna say sorry for giving ADELE’s CD. I really am. I thought it was a nice break-up gift. (taunya liriknya begitu, setelah gw dengerin ratusan kali, gw jadi ikutan galau.. bangke kamu, adele!)

#meh

#NowPlaying He Won’t Go-Adele
I won’t go.. I can’t do it on my own
If this ain’t love, then what is?
I am willing to take the risk..
#Sayat2PakePisauSevel

Status BBM

Gw tergengges dengan status bbm temen-temen di bbm gw. It's like "hey, you have to know every detail of my life" or "please kindly stalk me". Menyebalkan aja gitu ketika orang nyari perhatian tapi caranya gak asik begini.

Ntahlah, dari beberapa status bbm yang gw inget itu:

- haruskah aku...?
yes, please die. the sooner the better.

- [nama] at [nama negara]
pertama, mustinya pake IN instead of AT. Kedua, bahkan namanya bukan nama orang itu tp nama anaknya. Oke, gw ngaku, itu nyokap gw yg gemar masang photo gw jadi DP BBM dan ngubah statusnya jadi Valen at Malaysia. Apose indang?

- @[nama]: Cyin, baca bbmku
Kalau ga ada yg bbm gw untuk baca status temen gw, gw ga akan baca bbmnya. Mustinya gw bales: "@namatemenguve: OKE CYIN, eyke akan baca. urgent gak?" Apakah chatting via bbm terlalu mainstream sehingga musti chatting via status bbm?

*brb cari inspirasi dulu di contact bbm*

-  Adakah C I N T A yang tak pernah berakhir? Selalu untuk selamanya....
seeking attention level galau tingkat delusional

- Wish you know my sadness in my smile ; can hear my words in my silence ; can feel my love in my anger
seeking attention level teenage love

- Btul2 capek jln dari Goa tengkorak!!
seeking attention level mistis

Akh, lagi ga ada yang seruuuuu.. well anyway, akhirnya gw tersadar (gak sih, gw diteriakin sama temen gw) bahwa kalau memang gw ga suka, yaudah gak usah dilihat status bbmnya. bener juga sih, cuma gw gatel aja pengen komen "cari perhatian banget sih luuuuu" karena gw percaya setiap tindakan pasti ada motifnya. Kecuali lo memang impulsif (ba ba ba..ba..banana..)



Dannnnn... setiap gw ngeliat status2 bbm (maupun facebook) yang caper2 gitu, to be perfectly honest, my motive is to feel good (or better) about myself. Makanya gw jarang delete contact maupun unfriend di facebook. In case I'm not in my best mood, bisa halan-halan di facebook ngeliatin status-status (terutama temen-temen lesbian cilik yang cemungudh ea kakagh) and be grateful for what i have right now.

Have a good night, attention seekers!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Give Me Love - Ed Sheeren





"Give Me Love"
Give me love like her,
'Cause lately I've been waking up alone,
Pain splattered teardrops on my shirt,
Told you I'd let them go,

And that I'll fight my corner,
Maybe tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood turns into alcohol,
No, I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, give me love,

Give me love like never before,
'Cause lately I've been craving more,
And it's been a while but I still feel the same,
Maybe I should let you go,

You know I'll fight my corner,
And that tonight I'll call ya,
After my blood is drowning in alcohol,
No, I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love.