Its gonna be an awesome day. NOT!

I will not start today with "its gonna be an awesome day." because i will simply fail miserably.

Mungkin karena gw pergi ke tempat yang salah, waktu yang salah, bersama orang yg salah, akhirnya jadi berantakan.

Maybe i should start my day with "lets get this shit over with" . No expextation. Just get it done and gtfo as soon as possible.

Mimpi

I took a power nap and I had a dream about you.  You were with me in bed (on my new fitted sheet to be specific).  I didnt know why you were there but it felt right. We didnt talk much but my brain thought about so many things I should say to you.

Then Mong came to snuggle me from the back. It was like Mong marked her territory.

I looked at you looking at me.  It was super awkward.

My phone rang. Mong called me and I woke up.  This dream felt so right I feel so wrong. I kinda miss the girl I used to be. The fun, happy go lucky and very vivacious version of me.

I needed to contact you right away then I saw your profile picture, with your only one. I aborted the mission right away. You know, this is not the 1st time I did this. I have one reason to contact you and thousands of reasons not to.

Huft, le old lady from monster University.

Apologize

Lirik barasuara tiba tiba terngiang di kepala gw. Lagu yang adek gw bilang "itu lho, lagu Bapa Kami."

Seperti kami pun mengampuni yang bersalah kepada kami. 

Mungkin siang ini gw perlu total recall on what Ive been through.  Mungkin ada baiknya gw gak nulis di sini.  It was too dark. 

Tangled. 

Y. O. U

Mengunci Ingatan | 050716

Sembuhkan lukamu yang membiru

Serpihan hatimu yang berdebu

Pagimu yang terluka

Malammu yang menyiksa

Hal yang ingin kau lupa

Justru semakin nyata

Mengunci ingatanmu

Menahan masa lalu

Memori yang membisu

Harapan yang berdebu

Sumber: https://barasuara.wordpress.com/2015/03/15/lirik-lagu/

That cynical look

Kalau gw SL, gw pasti akan bilang "YA MENURUT NGANA?" karena pertanyaannya super tolol.

Rule #1 : Don't shit where you eat.

Udah, stick to that rule. Ga usah aneh-aneh. My life is weird enough to have you in my life.

#TLC

Oh god why

Malam ini super annoying buat gw.  I caused it and im dealing with it. I feel my body hurts. I feel confused. Im physically tired.

Setelah gw coba telaah,  sepertinya gw  frustrasi. Banyak hal yang gw pengenin malam ini, tp gw belum bisa mendapatkan itu. ID gw lagi sangar banget malam ini.  Superego gw melemah.  Ego gw nangis2 karena di poke terus sama si ID.

I want to sleep, i want to runaway but someone nags me. Maybe i should sleep. Maybe..

Before i sleep, i want to ask you a question. How do you manage being alone without feeling lonely?

Theres one small part of me wanting to be somewhere only i know. But then again, there are hundreds of reasons not to be there.

Have a nice sleep, interesting people.

Val's update 27 Februari 2016

I stumbled upon my L friend's facebook. I read her posts and they were kinda sad and devastated. I sometimes open fb group or friends' fb just to make me feel good about myself. Salah gw kalau postingan lo menye-menye? *empati gw kayaknya lagi abis*

As far as I can remember, I no longer post about my "way too personal" emotion on social media. Kalau bocor, berarti emang gw udah ga tahan banget untuk venting. Gw mikirnya begini. Gw temenan sama kolega dan bahkan bos gw di FB, twitter, path dan instagram. Kalau gw masih posting status kurang menyenangkan perihal kerjaan satu maupun kerjaan lainnya, nanti yang bisa bikin orang offended. My tips are keep your emotional quotes to yourself. no matter how inspiring they are. Because in the end, nobody cares. even if they care a bit, they cannot do much about it.

Alright, mari bahas agenda hari ini:
1. Bikin laporan kine feb + upload
2. Rapiin laporan kine jan + upload
3. Design kegiatan gathering vol eos
4. bikin doodle batch 4 wawancara vol eos
5. rapiin laporan aceh - film pendek
6. prepare untuk wawancara eos vol Minggu.

Apalagi ya? I guess i need to start working on my task now~

have a wonderful day, people. Here is one sexy potato.

Ternyata masih~

 

Kadang yang lo pengenin itu ga selalu kesampean.  Tapi mungkin pas lo udah ga pengen pengen banget, lo malah ngedapetin hal itu. 

Yaudah didoain aja. Biar bisa emotionally content.