Tuesday, March 7, 2017
This photo is a random pick. Just because.
I kinda felt numb emotionally since 2013. My last excitement probably was in 2013 then i didnt feel anything. I think I reached "I totally wont give a fuck"around 2015. I caught up in the middle of few projects. Simply to run away from feeling my feelings.
Then I got slapped by reality yesterday. I was not sure how to react but I kept thinking about it. What should I seek in order to become the "right" me? Is it Vengeance? Or Forgiveness, perhaps?
Im shutting myself down. Becoming more and more introvert although I can pretend I am Vivacious as fuck. I know this is not right but sometimes I dont have the time to do self pity session on myself. And seeking help from expert didnt even occur to me. Im way too much of a coward to admit I need help. But at least I know something is not right (right?).
I have no clue what I want at this very moment but I know I want to pass this year quickly. Wake me up when 2017 ends kinda thing.
Forget about "i need to love and feel loved". Im just holding on to whatever makes me happy.
Btw, that couch looks so comfy. Would you....?